突然的崩溃..

今天的我，很没有力量。。
我'肥佬'了很多科。。
没有尽力。。很犯贱。。
人就是那样。。
今天忍不到了。。
逃跑去厕所。。泪流了。。
心很痛。。。呼吸困难。。
回到课室。。突然又来了。。
我崩溃了。。
控制不到自己的泪。。
不想让别人知道自己的弱点。。
只是让鱼见到了。。因为鱼坐在我隔壁。。

我。。不懂为什么。。
真的没有力了。。。
我又开始自己伤害自己了。。
变态狂。。咬自己的手。。用笔插自己的手。。
原来我会痛。。
原来会'黑青'。。
很多的原来。。仿佛回到了以前的我。。
太变态的我。。
还好没有去跳楼。。

我找不到释放自己的方法。。
only self-torture...just can let me know that..
i will feel pain...
我不懂为何。。
变灰了。。

我。。突然不见了。。
只想找个倾诉的对象。。然后大哭。。

可惜。。当时没有一个人帮到我。。
只有在鱼面前。。哭笑不得。。
要哭还是要笑。。
什么也不懂了。。


太累了。。。

wow...life...

last friday..9th of july 2010..
my classmates....head to genting...
but i din follow them because i need to go out with prudence n yong..
haha..
prudence booked me first..
so i reject to go to genting on friday..

feel bit regret...cz i need to sleep alone..
T.T..my mum also went to genting that day..with her friends..

wow...
we have a 'great dinner'...
haha...XD...
after having our dinner..
we head to Desa park city..
cz prudence has not go there before..
haha..

then...
go home lu...
once back home...
scare...
LOL...
switch on the light to sleep...
=="...hehe...

saturday..
went out with fang...
go church...

sunday...
go church...
^^.........

more n more exam n assignment....
come to me..
be strong!!!
face all those reality!!!!!!!!!!
GAMBATEH!!!

繁忙的日子..

最近，真的真的很忙。。
不懂为何忙的日子虽然很累。。
但觉得是值得的。。
很忙的日子又很象有点得空。。
哈哈。。矛盾的我。。

维持了几天。。
我知道自己是可以的。。只是。。
要的是时间。。

加油吧！！佩珊！！

繁忙的功课。。我把它放了一边。。
溜去学校看他们的camping..
好久没有那样了。。

昨天在学校待到3am something..
then,ling fetch me home..
4am something just went to bed..
sleep...
6am ++ woke up...
7am ++...a cup of tea...
8am.going to church...

一句话。。忙和累。。
看他们办活动。。就想回去以前的我们。。
一班朋友忙着办很多的活动。。
每天跑来跑去。。
现在呢？
什么都没参与了。。
真遗憾。。这样就结束了。。

感觉上，上了学院读书。。
很象应该要参加更多的活动。。
可以累积不一样的经验。。

但很相反的。。我没有参加任何活动了。。
怕？？应付不到自己的学业。。

心很想参加和学更多的东西。。
但自己又不会分身术。。哈哈。。
所以学不到那么多东西。。每样都要慢慢来。。
哈哈。。

努力吧。。
向前冲！！！

i am Reborn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today when i woke up..i felt so fresh..
and i knew that somethings good are gonna happened...
the spirit made me felt so different..
because of God..we are different!!!

i love u,Jesus...

today after the class..
i felt that i am full of knowledge..
thanks to my lovely sis,Stephanie..

because of her..i learn n knew n understood lots of things..
i know what am i doing right now and i gonna hit all those target...
with the accompany of God..

i will do the worshiping job with my sincere heart..
i know i am reborn...

May God bless me n my family n my friends....

All the best in everything!!!

Thanks Lord that i am alive!!!

a brand new life....

A brand new life has began...
thanks Lord...
because bring someone to be with me..

i need to be faithful...
i know what is the main aim in my life..
i will do it..
i know Jesus will be with me to handle all those stuff..

i have understand many things that i need to be understand..
i know i am growing up..
my thinking will be mature..

won't be childish anymore..
i have promised my Lord..
i will do all those stuff...
i will make it well..

Jesus is the way, truth and life..
i will choose the way that God had set to me..
i will follow and i know my life will be changed...

with the accompany of Lord..i know my life gonna be wonderful..
the power of praying really works in our life..
so do pray before we want to do something..

thanks Lord for let me know all of them..
thanks Lord for giving me a brand new life..
Amen..

God bless us...world peace..

....

always emo..always sad..
that's me...
next month...will be a challenge month for me..
i hope everything will be fine..
and i dun want let something to affect my mood n life..

i hope i will be fine...
recently...
really too busy for me...

i am so tired...
can i have a break..
long time din go for movie...
n shopping...
haiz...

sad sad sad....
T.T..

i hope the sem break can come faster...
hahahha..
then...
Penang is waiting for me..

hahahha...
Penang...
ahhahah..
go eat eat eat eat n eat......

fun...
hahahha...
hope this time can go la~~
hehehe..^^

life...

facing a busy n full of challenge life...
everyday facing a hectic life...

busy busy busy..
keep saying myself busy..
but i also do not know what i busy for...
hahaaha..
so funny la me..
hahahaha..

i am funny n crazy...
have my new hair style..
look like watermelon...
LOL....
i really a crazy girl..

life still go on....
thank God that i am alive...

assignment n coursework....
r waiting for me....

exam....is coming......

my life.........
full of challenges...
accept the facts...
face it....
and find solution to solve all those problem..

i know i can do it...
i will be strong...
i will be tough...

busy life....not a big deal...
i can handle u...
wakakkakakakak...=D

waiting for a break...
........
hahahahhaha...XD


gambateh.....
all the best to all of us....


after all those challenge..
we will learn something new...
n we will grow up and be mature........


wow........
A BRAND NEW LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random..

long time din write my blog..
wa..
too busy to going somewhere else..
haha...
erm..
may 27,night i travel to Hat yai,Thailand...
hehe...
this place...
erm...dunno how to describe my feeling...
just feel very hot at there..
the weather there hot than malaysia...
suffering..
hahahhaha...

there got a big big 'pasar borong'..
if not mistaken..is call pasar borong..
haha...
there got a lots of clothes..
if u got money..
just go there n buy whatever u want to buy...
there got lots of nice clothes,shoes n bags..
hahahah...
but too sad for me cz i cant find a suitable shoes..T.T
when i want that shoes...but no sizes anymore..
haiz...too sad...T.T

30 may,i back to K.L again..
wuhoo...
feel myself become lazy n fat again..
haiz..
what can i do to stop gain weight??
ahahhahahaha...
cannot diet..
haiz...just know eat n eat n eat..
aiyoyo....
i will become a very very fat people soon.
sad..T.T


1 june......
go out with someone..
lOl..do revision...=='
haha...
then at night..
around 11.30 pm..
reach chai ling's house..
kok yau fetch fang n me..
haha..
then we call lai to go along with us..
hahaha..
very very fun...
we act like mouse..
hahahaha..
very fun..must thank to xiao li..
cz she open the door for us..
haha..
chai ling happy until crazy..
ahhaha..
beh tahan her..LOL~~
wakakakkaka....=D

fun fun fun ~~~

just use to it...

everything just seem like use to it already...

i tell myself that do not regret for what i have been done...
and i will accept the consequences...
i know that i can do it well...
i will....

someone said me...
why so stupid...
i also do not know why...
may be just used to it...

get hurt???yes...
pain???yes...
why still continue to do that???just use to it???
no....i just...........too much........

everyone has their own limitation...
i am not pretty like someone do...
i am not tall as someone is...
i am not thin and slim as other people...
i am abnormal...
this is me...


if u do not like me to be ur friends...
if u think i will let u be shameful...
it is fine to me....
u can choose to stay away from me...
or u can straight away tell me...
i wont angry...

this is me..
i wont force anyone to do anything that he or she reluctant to do!!!
wont!!!!!

i am alive.........................................
wow~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the people who have a great spirit is coming back...........
that is M3~~
hehehhehehe...

a crazy girl with a great spirit!!^^
WOW...
LIFE IS WONDERFUL~

alone...but can learn something~

today i decide go sing k with them...
first time i went to time square with them by bus...
fun..yaya...okok..

today i went out with my college friends..
megan, lilian, angeline, min earn, ping jie n daniel..
fun..nice...to play with them...
we sing k from 2 something to 5 pm like that..

then ping jie, daniel n me went home...
wow..raining heavily~~

3 of us buy the ticket for monorail...
but mine is different from them..
and i go home alone...

wa...alone again...
after reach K.L central...
i need to walk n walk n walk...

then buy the ticket for ktm...
haiz..
haiz...

after buy the ticket...
i still keep walking..

then...
..........
finally..
i reach kepong....

then...
what happen to me??

wow...still raining...
still rain heavily...
who am i waiting for??

i sit at there....
and count the trains that pass by...
count n count n count...
there have 7 trains...

i sit at there for almost 1++ hours..
i am waiting for him.....
why??
cz he promise me to fetch me...
ling not free cz tuition...
my mum not free...

finally...
i din wait for him...
i take taxi to back home...
i am scare cz raining heavily...n i have to take taxi go home..

i am rushing...
when i back home..
it was 7.30pm...
i quickly take my bath...and go out with stephanie...

i am late again...
i need to attend for the class...
so i have to rush...

what i had promise to people..
i will do it...although i am late..

wow~
the class...ends late...
when i back home...
almost 12 am...

what a busy day~
today lectures class...
make me feel HOT~~~
wa...the guy sit beside me..funny...=='''
i cant do those questions..
need to try harder...

Gambateh!!
I can do it...
Jesus is with me...
I LOVE U,JESUS...

wa~~

my holidays end like that~~
during this holidays..
i am wasting my time everyday..
haha~of cause i got hang out with my buddies~~
i hang out with ling,fang,guan~~
haha..
fun??of cz fun~~
i have went to many places~~
OMG,i am wasting my time and become lazy...
i become a fat fat girl~~
haha~~
holidays end d...
my new life begin~~
i need to fight for my life..
i know what should i do~~
hahahahahah...
FIGHTING!!!

♥♥♥love him so much~~

hahahaahhaha...
do u guys know who is him???
ta dang~~
is him~~


he is leng zai..very yeng~~
so man~~
IP man...nice...
donnie yen~~
leng zai~~

today went to many places~~
walk walk la..
eat la..
play la~~
11 pm smthg i just back home~~



wa...dunno why..
suddenly so ♥ donnie yen~~
Wow~~

怎么了？？

我是怎么了？？
肚子饿了不找东西吃。。
现在胃很痛。。还在打blog..
我怎么了？？
不懂自己的心情。。
眼睛一直掉眼泪。。
很想找她们，但她们不得空。。
我没有肩膀靠了。。
我怎么了？？
我不知道自己在做着什么。。

只知道自己很像废人。。
我怎么了？？
为什么那么低落？？

为什么自己不会想。。
学会尊重自己，别人才会尊重你。。。

饿到胃痛是我的家常便饭。。
不睡觉，然后头痛，偏头痛~

自己甘愿堕落。。
叫自甘堕落。。

明明是个很开心的人。。
但背后却有那么多的问题。。

我很想放弃自己。。
但是我不能。。
还有很多东西必须做。。

有时在想如果我死了，
是不是一切都会变好。。
是不是死了，就不用烦了？

我的头脑很累。。。。。。。
虽然失忆不是一间好事，但如果可以的话。。
我要失去我所有的记忆。。

我不要现在的一切。。
我想重新开始。。

会不会有一天，我真的去自杀？？

........not good.......

This year..

What happen to my family n me?
Why got so many problems have occurred? Why?
Haiz..luckily…everything is fine now..
I hope all this kind of things won’t happen in my family anymore..

Memory lost is a kind of sad incident..
I think we must be healthy n keep our memory nicely…
We must write our diary so that we will remember the moment that we want to remember..
If one day, u really lost your memory..at least u still got ur diary to refer back that what had happening in ur life..

Yesterday I go out with my friends..
We went to Sunway Pyramid…we went there for ice skating..
Erm..is fun when u r skating…really fun…although the shoes r heavy to wear~

Then…suddenly.. I get a call…
Wow~ then I also do not know why I cry crazily there…

Many people use different ‘eyes sight’ to look at me..
I also do not know why they want look at me..==’’’…
I just know ytd I really fish…why I cry a??i really can’t control my emotion…
Suddenly too sad then straight away cry…

I think many people know what was happening..
Cz…..i talk in english with the aunty who take care my brothers~
at that moment, I really no mood to skate anymore..

Then, ling call me and chat with me..then I just back to normal..
Then, my mum also settles this thing very fast n efficient…
I know my mum loves all of us…I love u, mummy~
Thanks ling too~ hehe…I love u too…^^
thanks fang..^^..thanks yong..
Erm..thanks all my friends who accompany me at that time la~
Hehe…I love u all~

everything will be fine..everything do have the own solution to solve~
so…don’t worry…(this sentences use to bluff people)
if any unhappy things have happen..we are human being..
We have our own feeling, for sure we will be sad…we will be emo..
Everything have the own solution..this is the truth..what it needs..is time~
I pray to God…sincerely…

We need world peace…
We need to live healthily…

That’s all~

fun~

suddenly want to go out..then just go out..
haha..
3 of us...
yu, hwi n me...3 scorpio...
lol...
too funny...

fun...
watch movie..play...having dinner...
it is fun~




dinner...haha...




hahhaha..^^

很可悲~很可笑~很该死~的自己~

很好笑吧~
很可悲吧~
叫我把所有关于你的东西都删除掉。。
你知道吗？在那一瞬间。。我的心很痛。。
我不懂为什么自己做不到。。。
很伤心。。。

很痛。。
答应会做到但是又做不到了。。
当自己不要想你时。。
你的信息来了。。
没有胡思乱想。。但就是很不舍得你。。
我的泪水又来了。。

我不懂以前的自己让你流泪多少次了。。
但现在的我。。
肯定像以前的你。。。
我的心。。
不知道怎么了。。。

你知道吗。。
世界末日要到了。。
我很开心。。
因为可以离开了。。

但又很伤心。。
我很矛盾吧。。
真的很恨自己。。。

很想放弃自己。。。
但因为种种的理由。。
我必须活下去！！

哭。。我很讨厌哭的人。。
但却控制不到自己的情绪。。
这样伤害对方又何必呢？？
不如就这样放手吧。。

但如何才能放得下？？
我说了这句话。。。多少次了？？
有哪一次是成功的？？

我是笨小孩吗？？我太天真了吗？？
失去了就是失去了。。
不要再妄想任何东西。。不要再好奇你对我的感觉。。
很蠢吧。。

这种蠢事竟然发生在我的身上。。
你真的那么有魅力吗？？
我不懂。。
只知道。。。
原来我很难去控制我的感觉。。。

爱一个人需要理由的吗？？
我的看法〉不用。。
因为对我来说一旦爱上了就是爱上了。。需要理由去解释吗？？
这是一种感觉。。出自于自己内心的感觉。。

讲到很像很厉害浆~
其实自己是个爱情蠢蛋。。
什么都不懂。。却以为自己很懂。。

每次写blog都那么伤心。。
真的很蠢下。。

第一次用那么多的‘蠢’字来骂自己。。
真的有够蠢。。。


haiz~

forget u...

ur birthday...
ur present...
my birthday...
my present.....

ur memories...
my memories....
ur life....
my life.....
u n me...

i want to keep all this thing inside my heart....
then slowly i will forget u...
now i talk like that..seem like very easy...
but actually very hard for me...

i have make the decision...
i will forget u..
i wont do those thing anymore...
give u that present..
cz i want to feel...
how hard is it??what is the feeling when i finished?
what is the feeling when u get it??

all those feeling....
i want to feel it...
ur expression...
ur feeling...
i want to know...

now only i knew...
i dunno better than i know the feeling...
it is hurt...
but this is the last time u can hurt me so deep..

i am so sorry because last time i am too bad for u..
i treat u badly...
i am a bad gf...
sorry because i hurt u badly...

but now...i can feel what u felt last time...
what can i say now...
is.....
sorry, i love u....

i will let u go....
u r just one of my passengers in my life...
i will forget u..

i do not want to hurt myself anymore....
those feeling really too hurt...

u made me cry...
ur birthday....
last words i said to u...
i love u n goodbye...

i cry...
because long time i din said this word...
my heart is pain...
dunno y...
just feel sad....

u have ur life..
i have my life too....
2 different people..have different life to go...
goodbye.....

i am too sad...
my tears.....
i just cant control it...

it is hard to forget u...
but i will try my best to do it...

xiao bai nian...bye bye la...

hope i can do it...

my exam is on monday 12/april/2010...
but now i still not yet start my revision..
what's wrong with me??
i dunno..may be i am planning for the day..

today is the day...10/4/2010...saturday...
go out with him...
become so silence..
how come a?
i also dunno what had happen...
i just know...
my heart broken...
feel sad...
u hurt me badly...

but what to do..
i bear....
i very patient...
because i keep telling myself..
this is the last time i do all those thing for u..

i hope u will like that things..
what i can say is...
i love u but goodbye..

i wont be 主动 anymore...
wont...
cz the feeling....not good..
too bad...

i will let u go...
i give up...
goodbye my beloved.....

what i want to do now...
i want my career....
this world is full of cruelty..
without any cert...u wont find a job.
so be smart...
work hard....
get more cert as u can...
gambateh n good luck for everything...

i must let u go..
i know it is difficult to do it..
but i will do my best....

gambateh!!!

assignment...presentation...

april fool....
fun??
not fun at all....
yesterday i just finished my presentation...
today...got exam...haiyo..
then....
today..know the marks...
aiya...
sad...cz 38/50...
most of the classmates get 40 ++...
but that is the marks that i deserved to get..
i din put more effort on it..
so i cant blame anyone...just can blame myself...
just hope to do well in my final exam...
gambateh...

yesterday...i do a stupid thing..
i washed my ''du chi''...
then bleeding...
haiz...
very pain la...
sad...T.T....>.<...

may God bless me..
i want to be healthy..^^

21/3/2010

today..i damn scared...
do u guys know what happen to me n lay hoon??
OMG...
morning around 6am something..
we walk to bus station...on the way, i keep praying..
because i am scared and there is too dark...
then unexpected thing happen...
the stupid people..
come to attack us...he want rob lay hoon's bag..
i do not what to do..i forgot to shout...
i very scared...i stand on the middle of the road..
but those cars did not stop..
just horn me and go away..
i saw that stupid people using his bear hands to hold around lay hoon's neck..
i damn scared..
i dunno how to shout..i stunned at there...
i blank...
just standing at the road..tahan the cars..
but no one stop the cars..
so sad...
then someone horn the stupid people..
but did not come out to help..
at the moment, lay hoon kick him and shout for help...
then at that time only i realized i should shout help help help!!!

then...
luckily nothing has gone...
but lay hoon get injure...
we really got blood got sweat to participating this Astro star quest...
haiz....
thank God...
only small injure..
but for me is big injure already...

then...
we went to federal hotel to take part the audition..
wa..on the way go there...
i really no mood to sing anymore..
i really get shocked...for the incident...
wait from 8 am something...
12 noon like that only go in to the audition room...
wa...i am so nervous...
got 2 different audition room..
one judge is lee wei song..
another is alex san..

lee wei song is very nice..
he gives me a lot if advices..
i choose 身骑白马 to sing....
then he say i am too nervous..lol
then..he wants me sing again...
then..
i am oso nervous..
haiyo...
too bad...
then he say i not enough skills..
i should give myself one year..
and consult some vocal teacher to strengthen my skills..
then my voice not bad wor...
call me to take part next year....
hahah...
lay hoon thought i can in..
cz i a bit take too long time inside the room...
so funny...
i cant make it..
nvm...
next year...i sure go again...
hahahha...lol...

night....
i go out with chai ling..
we walk under the rain...
we flashback...all the memories...
then..
she treat me eat yogurt..
kakakakkakaz...XD
thank you!!

my heart...

luckily..that is just a small operation..
thank God...
tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope everything will be fine!!!
gambateh!!!!

i want to be a good daughter.......
gambateh.......

today i made a person hate n angry me...
my heart broken..........
i do not know what to do anymore..
just can say sorry...
i am too rush...n worry...
u do not know what is my feeling for sure...

u knw why i feel i am useless??
i just want to go to hospital..
but i do not have transport..
for sure i must n will ask people to help me...

i got the car license but do not have car...
i am useless rite??
haiz...
i know my attitude not good..
i apologize...

at that time..i really too rush...
sorry because i also do not know what is ur situation..
so i cant be selfish and just think about my situation..
but..
that's a serious n urgent case for me..
do u feel my feeling??
u wont...

this is the second time..
i damn scared...n feel useless..
because i cant do anything..

if that sick person is me..
i will be ok..
i hope the people who got problem is me..
not my family...
i damn worry about them..

i think if u face this situation..then u know...

i am so sorry...for disturbing u..
i am so sorry...
for my bad attitude...
i am so sorry..
i wont ask for help anymore...

so sorry...sorry...really sorry...


after this incident...
an unexpected thing had happened...
stephanie came to find me...
she brings along dinner for me..
Oh my God...
it is too touch for me...
she cooks for me n mum, too touch....
thank God because i meet u...

this few days..
i am too stress..
i had too many things to handle n settle...
may God bless me...
i do not want anyone to leave me...

i do not want that kind of things happened...
if want a people leave this world..
God...
please bring away my soul and life to u..
please let my family live happily..

thank God...

long time din cry already...
yesterday....n today....
tears....keep coming out from eyes...

too sudden..

i am damn worry......
what was happening??
why all the things come so sudden??
today i get a call...
mum said that she is in the hospital..
God..i wish that everything will be fine..

after that..they came to my house do assignment..
then...i am waiting for my mum...
i thought all will be fine..
but that's not true..

tomorrow..i gonna accompany my mum go to hospital..
i do not know what is gonna happen..
i just pray and hope my mum will be fine..
and no need to do operation...

God please help my mum...
may God bless us...

tonight..i still go to church..
i pray..
i have too many things to worry..
someone...said something to me...
it hurts me..
i cry when i am eating my rice..
but not cry actually..
is my tears come out from my eyes...

i am too worry for my mum situation..
then u said such words to me..
haiz...

i am speechless..i just can say...
sorry for disturbing..
next time if i got anything..
i won't ask u to help..i will find other people to help me..
i am so sorry because disturbing u..

haiz...
hope everything will be fine..
feel badly...
my tears come out again..
so stupid n useless..
haiz...
what can i do??


May God bless my family...

result...anything..

monday..
i got my sem 2 result...
wow??!!
unbelievable...i almost cry out...
cz i pass my account..hahahah...
last sem i suffer than other people cz i took 7 subjects..
ngam ngam pass for the resit account..haha..C+..
i get 2A, 4B, 1C..CGPA..3.3...
got improve compare to sem 1...
i am too happy...
firstly, i need to thank God..^^
hopefully this sem i can get a more better result..

at night, i attend for a class...
then....went home late...

tuesday ,wednesday ...
i forgot what have i done...
i just know got small test..
and i felt scared to face exam..
but sometimes i like exam..
i am weird..

thursday..
OMG...
grammar test..wow...
this is very difficult for me..
find out 10 errors...
haiyo..cham liao lo..
haiz...
hopefully can get a okok marks...
hahahha...


when i update my blog..mean something has happen to me..
sometimes i am lazy to type..
sometimes...
something was happened then only i wrote my blog..

now..i am...
in a hot condition...
i should not angry of anyone...

i should be patient...
those things are just a small stuff..
so i should handle it wisely..

haiz...
hate myself so much..
good in talk only..
always talking craps...

work harder please...
i am talking to myself again...
should i go to consult a doctor??!!!
i got mentally problem!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

recently..

after CNY...a busy n hectic life has started..
recently...all my assignment come together..
then i become lazy to do all this stuff..
i am too busy but still have free time to play fb n chit chat..
i am giving myself many reasons n excuses for not to do my assignment..
now..i really hate myself so much..
ya..no one is perfect..but i want to make myself easier...
i do not like to do last minute work..
so i have to change...
everyone is changing their life..so i have to do so..
i am not following them..but i just need to think about my future..
so gambateh n all the best for me..



6.3.10, sat
dex, nee n i went to tan chong..
we visit the car factory..
OMG, we felt tired..this factory is too huge..
we keep walking..
n see the process for making a car..
wow...
it is COOL...
hahaha..
we may get lots of knowledge on the process for making a car...
haha..then we got interview those workers..
manager la..executive la..supervisor la...
it is fun..


7.3.10,sun
wow...
i follow my mum go to the family day activities..
today is a hot day....
wa....
i become dark again...
OMG...
i go there have fun...i play those games..
n i go participate the karaoke competition..
so malu n xia shui..
coz..i think i sing badly..
haha..
but...i got get the gift..wakakakkakak..XD
i get no 5...total got 12 / 13 people participate the competition..
i so 'cha shui'...
but..at least i have a good try on that..kakakkaz..
wa...
start from 7.30 am until 3 pm...
that's why i am so tired...
haiyo...
then now have to do my assignment some more..
haiyo...so sad...T.T..

gambateh ba..pui san...^^
God bless me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy go LuCky....

today..
suddenly no power supply for electricity..
then class cancel..
then i just have my class until 12.30pm..
then we join classmate went to Times Square..
first, we bought the ticket then we went to summer to have our lunch..
after we almost want to leave there..
we notice a person...
OMG..黄明志..hahha,,,a singer..
hahha..
he is cool...hahahha..xD

i so pai se la...cz
i go ask him can take photo with me bo??
kakakakakkakaz...
he say...can...
what pose u want??
hahahhahaha...
nice person...
hahha...
HAPPY GO LUCKY...

毅力？？

你的影响力还蛮大的嘛。。
你竟然可以又弄到我失眠了。。
我又看到不该看到的东西了。。
原来我也会记住你对我说过的话。。
原来你时常在我面前提起她。。
原来亲眼前看到的东西也可以是假的。。
顿时的我。。无可奈何。。
什么也不能说也不能批评。。
因为没有那个资格去批评。。
突然觉得自己很悲惨。。
但这都是自己给自己的烦恼。。
为什么总是去在意那些无谓的东西呢？？
你不是我的谁。。我也不是你的谁。。
所以要把你给忘了。。

这句话说了多久呢？？
因为几年的感情所以比较难放下？？
不要傻了吧。。

[他的心已没有你了。。请你不要再掉进陷阱里了。。]
[不要再陷下去了。。。]
[约你出去不代表什么。。]
[打给你也不代表什么。。]
[他纯粹问候你。。]
[别自作多情了。。]

无论思念，单恋，暗恋。。
都是会受伤。。只是看被伤得有几深。。

有位朋友说看了我的blog觉得超闷的。。
因为来来去去都是烦着同一样东西。。
如果有一天我停止写了。。
也就代表我真的放弃了。。
我会承受自己所犯过的错。。我会彻底把他忘了。。
很有可能。。我也会变成同性恋。。
因为。。
男生真的太不可靠了。。

男生都会很花心和口。。
在你面前这样做（好的一面）。。
可能在你背后做（坏的一面）。。

现在已经是早上5.13分。。
我还没睡。。

该放手了。。不要再让自己的心受到委屈了。。
但。。。
何时才可以真真的做到呢？？

心很刺痛又如何呢？？你又不会懂。。
还在意你又如何呢？？你已有了你的她。。
还想念你又如何呢？？你的心在想念你的她。。
还喜欢你又如何呢？？你的心已没有了我。。

你在我的心里已占了一部分的位置。。
但。。。。
我在你的心里连一滴眼泪也没有。。

我真的有喜欢你到那样的程度吗？？
你到底给我吃了什么药？？

爱情真的不简单。。
幸福真的不容易。。。
一旦遇见了爱情。。很多事都会改变。。

when u fall in love, all your view will be wonderful..
once u break in love , all your view will be desperate..
Love is blind..

必须有毅力去控制自己。。
要停止想他了。。

CNY??!!

happy??!!
not enough sleep everyday..
so cham leh...
always hang out..i also do not know why i got so many places to go..
wow...
haha...
yesterday went to bentong..
wow..
not bad..hahhaha..
be happy...^^

hahahhaha...CNY

wow...
CNY...
fun fun fun....














nice and happy to play with them...haha...














party time...kakkaz..




poker face...hahha..XD
my house too small la...haha...
wow??!!
1 am something just finished the party..
haha...






nice bo??haha..so long de hair..kakakaz...like it so much..haha..xD


hahaha...pretty girls...


nice pose??




this one more nice???
kakakaz...
they are funny...haha...
must be happy ya..XD

outing..

wednesday..10 feb...
went to wisma MCA to find my cousin..
thank to tze yong because he fetched me go there..
then my cousin fetch me to PJ de studio for recording..
this is the first time i walk into the real recording room..
and the feel really like a singer who records for their album..
i like the feel so much..
haha..XD
i love singing..^^
NO MUSIC, NO LIFE...

thursday..11 feb..
haha...
went to desa park city..
with sin yu n kong hwi..
3 of us went there for jogging..
haha...
sin nee ffk...haha...
so just 3 of us go jogging...so tired la..
haha..
then i bring my youngest brother went to sg wang..
with yuyu n michelle...
haha..
michelle fetch see go to college...
i just go there walk walk...haha..
and bought my brother's pants...
kakaz...
we went to the shit restaurant..
we eat shit together...
wakakakkakakak..
LOL....
haha...youngest brother..so leng zai..
what is that??haha
haha..so leng zai la..hahah..xD


michelle n yuyu..haha..XDhaha..XD..smile...^^
this is the shit...hahhaha..XD..tasty??yi...hahhaha..xD

what had happen??

why all the things can happen in a such sudden??
so weird and felt damn sad and disappointed with someone...
how old liao a??still cant think properly a??
still kid meh??
the way u talk to ur mum are definitely wrong...
u only have one mum...u so handsome..u scare u cant get a better gf ??
u scare no one will fall in love with u ??
please la...
think about ur future first...
i know love is blind but family are more important than anything!!!!
without ur mum..u cant live until now and u wont exist in this world..
please wake up!!!

i really felt disappointed...
conclusion u r idiot...
u play by those girls...
i no eye see anymore...
just want to say...
take care la u...

u are big enough to make your own decision...
please make a right choice...
if not u really will feel regret..
trust me...
study first...

i hope u can see this blog...
may God bless u...

Genting trip..

first time went to Genting with college friends..
felt not bad...is fun to hang out with them..
before we went to genting..i felt a bit bored and regret to join them..
but after play with them...
i knew that is fun...haha..so happy to hang out with them..
thanks them because did not angry me...due to my bad attitude...
i argue with mou mou...then aiya...made him so embarrassed..so sorry to him...
but if he din talk nonsense, i also wont do like that la..
haha...never mind la..is over d...
haha...conclusion..is fun..haha...^^

all smile happily..haha..XD

after this genting trip...
i went to yam night on friday night..
haha...
a youth activities in the church..haha..^^
then..
felt quite fun...haha..
so careless de me...get injure..
my hand very pain leh...haha...


then...now learning some song..
a new challenge for me...
single ladies by beyonce...
whoa??!!
hope i can sing well..haha..XD
gambateh...haha..XD

today woke up too early..
that's why have time to type this blog..haha...
now going to sleep back...hahha..XD
^^

突然...

不明白人为什么需要爱情。。很好奇。。
为什么？
又想他了吗？
很奇怪吧。。为什么会那样呢?
明明知道不可能了。。但还是会想。。
在自己的房间里。。实在有太多他的礼物了。。
不可思议。。
有太多的回忆。。
有一段期间喜欢听刘力扬的礼物。。
还很感触。。
突然发觉自己的思想有改变了。。
但还是在想几时的自己才会放下所有的东西呢？
是自己放不下吗？？
很不明白自己的心。。
哈哈。。
觉得自己很奇怪。。
不知道为什么会那样。。
突然觉得自己不应该有爱情。。
觉得自己应该独立生活。。
很奇怪的我。。
总是爱无思乱想的我。。

以前都觉得活在这世上很没有意义。。
现在。。
为了祂而活。。
知道自己的去向。。
要求自己改变。。
不会再很野蛮。。不会再有坏脾气。。
一切都要变好。。
努力向前进。。往自己的未来前进。。
加油吧。。

bad news..

sleep for whole day..
i am pig...
today i felt so guilty..
cz something had happen..
haiz...why my family got many problem da?
i am so sad n pity him..
he suddenly meet with an accident...
he cant speak for 2 days...now he can talk so he call back and tell us he is in the hospital..
when i know this news..i have no feeling..
why?how come??
i very pity him..because no one visit him in the hospital...
his life is miserable...i very pity him...
haiz...
i felt guilty because i din pray for him...
i am so bad...i forgot him already..
how come will like that?
haiz...
i am such a bad girl....

haiz...
i hope all my family will live in a safe place...
all my family are healthy..
may God bless me n my family...

Again~

why still don't want sleep?
what happen to me again?sad?
why i sad?
why i feel sad...

today sleep for whole day..2 pm like that just woke up..
sleep like pig..then..do house work..then...
watching 海派甜心...
then...ling came find me...
talk lots thing...haha..
at night went to night market..

after back home..watching that movie again..
then......
don't know why....
feel sad...
weird??

suddenly feel that...
i dunno what i feel..
feel lonely...why??
huh??
am i crazy...
suddenly very like a song...
蓝天..

越过了重重的的心墙，有一整片蓝天。。

i am damn weird...
很空虚...
又很痛...
我怎么了？？
很想试下失忆的滋味...
可以活得很快乐...是吗？？
我傻了。。

Exam...

again....when i emo...i do not know what to do...
i type my blog...
exam...ing....
i like exam actually but sometimes due to my laziness..
i scared of exam..why human being will lazy?
it is very weird..
why human being will regret in last minute..why?
last few weeks,i really succeed because i did not on line for 3 days..
it is very cool...
haha..but now i on line back...
and the main point is..i do not know what is the purpose i on line...
i seldom chat..busy download?
haiz...
suddenly...my feeling came back again..
i really hate myself...
i do not know why i will become like this..
i no eye to see myself anymore...
laziness, i hate u..

i tend to say i want to change myself and i want to be a better person..
but in the end...
i do nothing....
i hate myself.....

after express out my feeling...need to take a nap...
then wake up..start to do my revision..
i am weird..
like to talk to myself...
i think if i live at tanjung rambutan..
it will be better for me..
because i no need to think anything and i can live there happily...

i am totally weird...
i talking nonsense again..
i should be positive..if this blog has seen by one of my friend..
he sure kill me...
arrgghh..
nevermind, he won't know cz i din tell many friends that i have this blog..^^
.....
see...what m i doing??
am i crazy?
am i weird?
definitely i am weird n crazy.......
go sleep then study...
i don't want to on line again...
after exam....i just come back to my blog la...^^

jia you n gambateh...
God bless me...

Sad~

I am sad because of my family background..
i do not want to give any burden to my mum anymore..
today evening i just knew that my youngest brother, Jack sudden get asthma attack...
He tell mum that yesterday midnight..his heart very pain until he cant breath..
then his 2 elder brothers totally sleep like pig and no feeling..
arrgghhh....
then he fall down from his bed..luckily got another guy sleep on the floor..
because got 6 people sleep in one room..
then, that guy ask jack what had happened..
after that, he rushed to uncle's room to told him that jack can't breath..
haiz...
in that midnight, the uncle faster fetched my brother went to medical centre..
aarrgghh..

my heart was pain when i heard this..
how come my youngest brother so weak?
how come my 2 elder brother do not know how to take care the youngest brother?
oh my GOD...
my youngest brother's weight only 25 kg..he already 12 years old but still so thin.
i very scared that anything will happen on him again...

ASTHMA...a serious disease...
haiz...
I pray to God sincerely...
I hope all my family members will have a good health..
i do not want them to feel suffer..
please...i pray to God hardly...
if want me die also can, but all of my family members must be healthy...
i do not want to see anyone of them feeling suffer...

i totally heart break....
i do not what to do...
i am their sister but i can't do anything..
i did not take good care for them..
i think myself so useless...
i wish i can be a better sister...
i want to treat them nicely...
i want their academic good than me...
but...
all those thing are just my wishes...
and they do not know...
i have told them many times and gave many advices to them..
but they still no change...
when they just can grow up??

i too worry about their future although i also not yet step in the reality life...
arrgghhh.....
i will mad soon..
i had think too much of those things...
God, please give me strength to fight all these things...
next thursday(14/jan) is my final exam...

in this sem, i am suffering because i need to sit for 7 subjects...
i must pass all the subjects...
i can not fail anymore...
i do not want to add my mum's burden...
May God bless me n my family, ah men..

梦~

我真的还在意吗？？为什么？？
我不懂自己在做什么。。。
只知道现在的我不想再想这些东西了。。
我要把所有的东西都忘记。。但我做得到吗？
放下所有的东西然后专心考试。。
加油吧。。。
我正在改变。。。
我要变得更阳光。。加油哦~
阳光。。。
为了生活。。我们一定要不断地努力追求自己想要的生活。。。
努力的往未来前进~
努力。。。
加油。。
不愉快的事情。。很快就会过去。。
时间将会平淡一切。。。。
好好活着吧！！

NoT FeeLinG wEll...T.T

very headache...very pain...feel very suffer...
how??eat medicine d...still like this...
i don't want to sick...
i don't have energy liao...
want to rest....
may GOD bless me...
i must be healthy....
next Thursday start exam d...
so i must have strength to fight my exam...
gambateh..puisan....
must fight for it...
take good care of urself!!!Joyce....

一个新的开始~

今天的我相信了神。。 我透过了丽芬的帮助。。 淑雅姐姐。。。 我。。。 打开了我的心让主进入我的世界，我希望一切都会有新的开始。。 加油吧。。 我的家人将会是我的推动力。。 我会懂得感恩。。 我要坚强的活下去。。 我一定要。。。
yeah~gambateh..^^

weird weird de me..^^

what to do??

do nthg...
haha...funny???
so boring??!!
find a place to type???
want to waste time....
haha...

i like to waste my time....
then....
i regret...
haha...so stupid de me...
haha....

so late liao..still dun wn sleep..
arrrggghhh...go sleep...