Again~

why still don't want sleep?
what happen to me again?sad?
why i sad?
why i feel sad...

today sleep for whole day..2 pm like that just woke up..
sleep like pig..then..do house work..then...
watching 海派甜心...
then...ling came find me...
talk lots thing...haha..
at night went to night market..

after back home..watching that movie again..
then......
don't know why....
feel sad...
weird??

suddenly feel that...
i dunno what i feel..
feel lonely...why??
huh??
am i crazy...
suddenly very like a song...
蓝天..

越过了重重的的心墙，有一整片蓝天。。

i am damn weird...
很空虚...
又很痛...
我怎么了？？
很想试下失忆的滋味...
可以活得很快乐...是吗？？
我傻了。。

Exam...

again....when i emo...i do not know what to do...
i type my blog...
exam...ing....
i like exam actually but sometimes due to my laziness..
i scared of exam..why human being will lazy?
it is very weird..
why human being will regret in last minute..why?
last few weeks,i really succeed because i did not on line for 3 days..
it is very cool...
haha..but now i on line back...
and the main point is..i do not know what is the purpose i on line...
i seldom chat..busy download?
haiz...
suddenly...my feeling came back again..
i really hate myself...
i do not know why i will become like this..
i no eye to see myself anymore...
laziness, i hate u..

i tend to say i want to change myself and i want to be a better person..
but in the end...
i do nothing....
i hate myself.....

after express out my feeling...need to take a nap...
then wake up..start to do my revision..
i am weird..
like to talk to myself...
i think if i live at tanjung rambutan..
it will be better for me..
because i no need to think anything and i can live there happily...

i am totally weird...
i talking nonsense again..
i should be positive..if this blog has seen by one of my friend..
he sure kill me...
arrgghh..
nevermind, he won't know cz i din tell many friends that i have this blog..^^
.....
see...what m i doing??
am i crazy?
am i weird?
definitely i am weird n crazy.......
go sleep then study...
i don't want to on line again...
after exam....i just come back to my blog la...^^

jia you n gambateh...
God bless me...

Sad~

I am sad because of my family background..
i do not want to give any burden to my mum anymore..
today evening i just knew that my youngest brother, Jack sudden get asthma attack...
He tell mum that yesterday midnight..his heart very pain until he cant breath..
then his 2 elder brothers totally sleep like pig and no feeling..
arrgghhh....
then he fall down from his bed..luckily got another guy sleep on the floor..
because got 6 people sleep in one room..
then, that guy ask jack what had happened..
after that, he rushed to uncle's room to told him that jack can't breath..
haiz...
in that midnight, the uncle faster fetched my brother went to medical centre..
aarrgghh..

my heart was pain when i heard this..
how come my youngest brother so weak?
how come my 2 elder brother do not know how to take care the youngest brother?
oh my GOD...
my youngest brother's weight only 25 kg..he already 12 years old but still so thin.
i very scared that anything will happen on him again...

ASTHMA...a serious disease...
haiz...
I pray to God sincerely...
I hope all my family members will have a good health..
i do not want them to feel suffer..
please...i pray to God hardly...
if want me die also can, but all of my family members must be healthy...
i do not want to see anyone of them feeling suffer...

i totally heart break....
i do not what to do...
i am their sister but i can't do anything..
i did not take good care for them..
i think myself so useless...
i wish i can be a better sister...
i want to treat them nicely...
i want their academic good than me...
but...
all those thing are just my wishes...
and they do not know...
i have told them many times and gave many advices to them..
but they still no change...
when they just can grow up??

i too worry about their future although i also not yet step in the reality life...
arrgghhh.....
i will mad soon..
i had think too much of those things...
God, please give me strength to fight all these things...
next thursday(14/jan) is my final exam...

in this sem, i am suffering because i need to sit for 7 subjects...
i must pass all the subjects...
i can not fail anymore...
i do not want to add my mum's burden...
May God bless me n my family, ah men..

梦~

我真的还在意吗？？为什么？？
我不懂自己在做什么。。。
只知道现在的我不想再想这些东西了。。
我要把所有的东西都忘记。。但我做得到吗？
放下所有的东西然后专心考试。。
加油吧。。。
我正在改变。。。
我要变得更阳光。。加油哦~
阳光。。。
为了生活。。我们一定要不断地努力追求自己想要的生活。。。
努力的往未来前进~
努力。。。
加油。。
不愉快的事情。。很快就会过去。。
时间将会平淡一切。。。。
好好活着吧！！

NoT FeeLinG wEll...T.T

very headache...very pain...feel very suffer...
how??eat medicine d...still like this...
i don't want to sick...
i don't have energy liao...
want to rest....
may GOD bless me...
i must be healthy....
next Thursday start exam d...
so i must have strength to fight my exam...
gambateh..puisan....
must fight for it...
take good care of urself!!!Joyce....

一个新的开始~

今天的我相信了神。。 我透过了丽芬的帮助。。 淑雅姐姐。。。 我。。。 打开了我的心让主进入我的世界，我希望一切都会有新的开始。。 加油吧。。 我的家人将会是我的推动力。。 我会懂得感恩。。 我要坚强的活下去。。 我一定要。。。
yeah~gambateh..^^

weird weird de me..^^

what to do??

do nthg...
haha...funny???
so boring??!!
find a place to type???
want to waste time....
haha...

i like to waste my time....
then....
i regret...
haha...so stupid de me...
haha....

so late liao..still dun wn sleep..
arrrggghhh...go sleep...