Sad~

I am sad because of my family background..
i do not want to give any burden to my mum anymore..
today evening i just knew that my youngest brother, Jack sudden get asthma attack...
He tell mum that yesterday midnight..his heart very pain until he cant breath..
then his 2 elder brothers totally sleep like pig and no feeling..
arrgghhh....
then he fall down from his bed..luckily got another guy sleep on the floor..
because got 6 people sleep in one room..
then, that guy ask jack what had happened..
after that, he rushed to uncle's room to told him that jack can't breath..
haiz...
in that midnight, the uncle faster fetched my brother went to medical centre..
aarrgghh..

my heart was pain when i heard this..
how come my youngest brother so weak?
how come my 2 elder brother do not know how to take care the youngest brother?
oh my GOD...
my youngest brother's weight only 25 kg..he already 12 years old but still so thin.
i very scared that anything will happen on him again...

ASTHMA...a serious disease...
haiz...
I pray to God sincerely...
I hope all my family members will have a good health..
i do not want them to feel suffer..
please...i pray to God hardly...
if want me die also can, but all of my family members must be healthy...
i do not want to see anyone of them feeling suffer...

i totally heart break....
i do not what to do...
i am their sister but i can't do anything..
i did not take good care for them..
i think myself so useless...
i wish i can be a better sister...
i want to treat them nicely...
i want their academic good than me...
but...
all those thing are just my wishes...
and they do not know...
i have told them many times and gave many advices to them..
but they still no change...
when they just can grow up??

i too worry about their future although i also not yet step in the reality life...
arrgghhh.....
i will mad soon..
i had think too much of those things...
God, please give me strength to fight all these things...
next thursday(14/jan) is my final exam...

in this sem, i am suffering because i need to sit for 7 subjects...
i must pass all the subjects...
i can not fail anymore...
i do not want to add my mum's burden...
May God bless me n my family, ah men..