fun~

suddenly want to go out..then just go out..
haha..
3 of us...
yu, hwi n me...3 scorpio...
lol...
too funny...

fun...
watch movie..play...having dinner...
it is fun~




dinner...haha...




hahhaha..^^

很可悲~很可笑~很该死~的自己~

很好笑吧~
很可悲吧~
叫我把所有关于你的东西都删除掉。。
你知道吗？在那一瞬间。。我的心很痛。。
我不懂为什么自己做不到。。。
很伤心。。。

很痛。。
答应会做到但是又做不到了。。
当自己不要想你时。。
你的信息来了。。
没有胡思乱想。。但就是很不舍得你。。
我的泪水又来了。。

我不懂以前的自己让你流泪多少次了。。
但现在的我。。
肯定像以前的你。。。
我的心。。
不知道怎么了。。。

你知道吗。。
世界末日要到了。。
我很开心。。
因为可以离开了。。

但又很伤心。。
我很矛盾吧。。
真的很恨自己。。。

很想放弃自己。。。
但因为种种的理由。。
我必须活下去！！

哭。。我很讨厌哭的人。。
但却控制不到自己的情绪。。
这样伤害对方又何必呢？？
不如就这样放手吧。。

但如何才能放得下？？
我说了这句话。。。多少次了？？
有哪一次是成功的？？

我是笨小孩吗？？我太天真了吗？？
失去了就是失去了。。
不要再妄想任何东西。。不要再好奇你对我的感觉。。
很蠢吧。。

这种蠢事竟然发生在我的身上。。
你真的那么有魅力吗？？
我不懂。。
只知道。。。
原来我很难去控制我的感觉。。。

爱一个人需要理由的吗？？
我的看法〉不用。。
因为对我来说一旦爱上了就是爱上了。。需要理由去解释吗？？
这是一种感觉。。出自于自己内心的感觉。。

讲到很像很厉害浆~
其实自己是个爱情蠢蛋。。
什么都不懂。。却以为自己很懂。。

每次写blog都那么伤心。。
真的很蠢下。。

第一次用那么多的‘蠢’字来骂自己。。
真的有够蠢。。。


haiz~

forget u...

ur birthday...
ur present...
my birthday...
my present.....

ur memories...
my memories....
ur life....
my life.....
u n me...

i want to keep all this thing inside my heart....
then slowly i will forget u...
now i talk like that..seem like very easy...
but actually very hard for me...

i have make the decision...
i will forget u..
i wont do those thing anymore...
give u that present..
cz i want to feel...
how hard is it??what is the feeling when i finished?
what is the feeling when u get it??

all those feeling....
i want to feel it...
ur expression...
ur feeling...
i want to know...

now only i knew...
i dunno better than i know the feeling...
it is hurt...
but this is the last time u can hurt me so deep..

i am so sorry because last time i am too bad for u..
i treat u badly...
i am a bad gf...
sorry because i hurt u badly...

but now...i can feel what u felt last time...
what can i say now...
is.....
sorry, i love u....

i will let u go....
u r just one of my passengers in my life...
i will forget u..

i do not want to hurt myself anymore....
those feeling really too hurt...

u made me cry...
ur birthday....
last words i said to u...
i love u n goodbye...

i cry...
because long time i din said this word...
my heart is pain...
dunno y...
just feel sad....

u have ur life..
i have my life too....
2 different people..have different life to go...
goodbye.....

i am too sad...
my tears.....
i just cant control it...

it is hard to forget u...
but i will try my best to do it...

xiao bai nian...bye bye la...

hope i can do it...

my exam is on monday 12/april/2010...
but now i still not yet start my revision..
what's wrong with me??
i dunno..may be i am planning for the day..

today is the day...10/4/2010...saturday...
go out with him...
become so silence..
how come a?
i also dunno what had happen...
i just know...
my heart broken...
feel sad...
u hurt me badly...

but what to do..
i bear....
i very patient...
because i keep telling myself..
this is the last time i do all those thing for u..

i hope u will like that things..
what i can say is...
i love u but goodbye..

i wont be 主动 anymore...
wont...
cz the feeling....not good..
too bad...

i will let u go...
i give up...
goodbye my beloved.....

what i want to do now...
i want my career....
this world is full of cruelty..
without any cert...u wont find a job.
so be smart...
work hard....
get more cert as u can...
gambateh n good luck for everything...

i must let u go..
i know it is difficult to do it..
but i will do my best....

gambateh!!!

assignment...presentation...

april fool....
fun??
not fun at all....
yesterday i just finished my presentation...
today...got exam...haiyo..
then....
today..know the marks...
aiya...
sad...cz 38/50...
most of the classmates get 40 ++...
but that is the marks that i deserved to get..
i din put more effort on it..
so i cant blame anyone...just can blame myself...
just hope to do well in my final exam...
gambateh...

yesterday...i do a stupid thing..
i washed my ''du chi''...
then bleeding...
haiz...
very pain la...
sad...T.T....>.<...

may God bless me..
i want to be healthy..^^

21/3/2010

today..i damn scared...
do u guys know what happen to me n lay hoon??
OMG...
morning around 6am something..
we walk to bus station...on the way, i keep praying..
because i am scared and there is too dark...
then unexpected thing happen...
the stupid people..
come to attack us...he want rob lay hoon's bag..
i do not what to do..i forgot to shout...
i very scared...i stand on the middle of the road..
but those cars did not stop..
just horn me and go away..
i saw that stupid people using his bear hands to hold around lay hoon's neck..
i damn scared..
i dunno how to shout..i stunned at there...
i blank...
just standing at the road..tahan the cars..
but no one stop the cars..
so sad...
then someone horn the stupid people..
but did not come out to help..
at the moment, lay hoon kick him and shout for help...
then at that time only i realized i should shout help help help!!!

then...
luckily nothing has gone...
but lay hoon get injure...
we really got blood got sweat to participating this Astro star quest...
haiz....
thank God...
only small injure..
but for me is big injure already...

then...
we went to federal hotel to take part the audition..
wa..on the way go there...
i really no mood to sing anymore..
i really get shocked...for the incident...
wait from 8 am something...
12 noon like that only go in to the audition room...
wa...i am so nervous...
got 2 different audition room..
one judge is lee wei song..
another is alex san..

lee wei song is very nice..
he gives me a lot if advices..
i choose 身骑白马 to sing....
then he say i am too nervous..lol
then..he wants me sing again...
then..
i am oso nervous..
haiyo...
too bad...
then he say i not enough skills..
i should give myself one year..
and consult some vocal teacher to strengthen my skills..
then my voice not bad wor...
call me to take part next year....
hahah...
lay hoon thought i can in..
cz i a bit take too long time inside the room...
so funny...
i cant make it..
nvm...
next year...i sure go again...
hahahha...lol...

night....
i go out with chai ling..
we walk under the rain...
we flashback...all the memories...
then..
she treat me eat yogurt..
kakakakkakaz...XD
thank you!!

my heart...

luckily..that is just a small operation..
thank God...
tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope everything will be fine!!!
gambateh!!!!

i want to be a good daughter.......
gambateh.......

today i made a person hate n angry me...
my heart broken..........
i do not know what to do anymore..
just can say sorry...
i am too rush...n worry...
u do not know what is my feeling for sure...

u knw why i feel i am useless??
i just want to go to hospital..
but i do not have transport..
for sure i must n will ask people to help me...

i got the car license but do not have car...
i am useless rite??
haiz...
i know my attitude not good..
i apologize...

at that time..i really too rush...
sorry because i also do not know what is ur situation..
so i cant be selfish and just think about my situation..
but..
that's a serious n urgent case for me..
do u feel my feeling??
u wont...

this is the second time..
i damn scared...n feel useless..
because i cant do anything..

if that sick person is me..
i will be ok..
i hope the people who got problem is me..
not my family...
i damn worry about them..

i think if u face this situation..then u know...

i am so sorry...for disturbing u..
i am so sorry...
for my bad attitude...
i am so sorry..
i wont ask for help anymore...

so sorry...sorry...really sorry...


after this incident...
an unexpected thing had happened...
stephanie came to find me...
she brings along dinner for me..
Oh my God...
it is too touch for me...
she cooks for me n mum, too touch....
thank God because i meet u...

this few days..
i am too stress..
i had too many things to handle n settle...
may God bless me...
i do not want anyone to leave me...

i do not want that kind of things happened...
if want a people leave this world..
God...
please bring away my soul and life to u..
please let my family live happily..

thank God...

long time din cry already...
yesterday....n today....
tears....keep coming out from eyes...